Parties

Try asking a different question next time you're at a party

I think far too much about how we tend to define ourselves by our jobs. This can be stifling to our sense of self. We also have a tendency to expect the same from others, which explains what happens at almost every party or gathering we might attend. It normally plays out something like this:

Fade in:

Int. A Middle-class Millenial’s House - Kitchen (probably) - Night

Strangers loosely affiliated to one another via the host mill around trying not to look as awkward as they feel, looking for (or perhaps avoiding) someone to talk to. BOB bumps into ALICE at the fridge, whilst they are both getting a drink.

Bob

So what do you do, Alice?

Alice

(sighs internally)

I’m a frontend engineer. I build UI, usually SaaS apps for big companies.

Bob stares blankly at Alice, not quite sure what she said, and even less sure how to respond

ALICE

(shuffling awkwardly)

I make websites

BOB

Oh cool! I’ve been having problems with my internet. It cuts out all of the time, I bet you’d be able to fix that right?

ALICE

Hehe! Well that’s not… yeah… probably

Alice, takes a few sips with an awkward pause between each, looking around for someone to interrupt

ALICE

What about you?

I’m sure we’ve all been there. And we all know just how painfully awkward it can be to keep one of those exchanges going. But what if we change it up, even a little?

Flash Rewind:

Bob

So, Alice, how do you pass time when you’re not working or doing life admin or whatever?

Alice

(slightly startled)

Gee, I, erm, I’m big in to climbing actually

BOB

(eyes wide, smiling)

Oh cool! Like, mountains and stuff?

ALICE

Ha! Not quite, I’d love to do that someday though. I mostly just stay around Yorkshire

Alice, puts her drink down on the side

ALICE

How about you?